In a little less than an hour, twi-hards across the world will be shoveling their sparkly vampire loving bodies into movie theatres to sit through the latest installment of The Twatlight Saga. Now, I am obviously not going to be one of those individuals. Instead, I find myself writing a paper for class and allowing myself to be distracted by tumblr and wonderful conversation with Zach Shildwachter formally of Z For Zombies and currently a contributor to The Blood Sprayer and brains behind Awkward Creations. Since Zach and I are both self proclaimed rock stars and far too cool for Twatlight, we compiled a list of things we would much rather do than sit through that crap.
JUMP IN FRONT OF A TRAIN
STEP IN FRONT OF A BUS
PUKE MY GUTS OUT
STAB MY EYES OUT
EAT A LIVE ANIMAL
HANG MYSELF
BLEND A BABY
WATCH NASCAR
LAY ON A PUBLIC BATHROOM FLOOR
KISS AN OLD WOMAN
HAVE MY SKIN RIPPED OFF
BE EATEN ALIVE
SPONTANEOUSLY COMBUST
BE ATTACKED BY CATS
POUR ACID IN MY EYES
See, there you have it, a list of things that would totally be better than shelling out the money to see if a constipated teenager decides to go for necrophilia or inter-species erotica. I just saved you nine bucks.
Think you're cool? Try to guess all of the films featured above. Show off your horror gusto and leave your guesses in the comments section.
Think you're cool? Try to guess all of the films featured above. Show off your horror gusto and leave your guesses in the comments section.
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