Slap me hard in the face if you haven't heard this kind of ghost story: a young couple moves to a suburban home. Paranormal entities torture them for dead. Todd Lincoln's The Apparition runs on this tired premise where enormous mold spores appear everywhere in the house, with nothing to add in its story. The haunted house trope has had enough this year from both tacky and sumptuous selections that giving The Apparition a theatrical run would be a dimwit thing to do. "It shouldn't even exist", is the kindest way I could put it and that is it.
Things bump at night, lights flicker, shadowy figures begin to move around. Conclusively, the movie is as unoriginal as it is generic. Worse, the movie doesn't offer anything good, let alone, new to its molested formula. Lincoln's characterization and narrative is nowhere to be found, because plainly, there's nothing in the picture. "Empty," and that's the only horrific thing about the film, it's empty in the literal sense, not anything new does it add to the cinema, let alone anything good. With the economy fluctuating like frenzy, unstable and all that, to waste money on a ticket for this kind, terrifies me. That's the biggest scare in The Apparition.
Ashley Greene (from The Twilight Saga) is Kelly, the idiotic half of the young couple who starts to live together in a new home. She wakes up and finds their doors installed with high-end security protection opened in the middle of the night. Frankly, a smart person would assume something not human is at work. Pack your bags and leave. Sebastian Stan who played Bucky Barnes in Captain America and will be Winter Soldier in the upcoming sequel plays the other half, Ben. If we're smarter than these two, we already know Ben's involvement in their forthcoming demise, don't we?
I sure hoped so. Sure did.
What's left for consolation is Greene's moments in her underwear. Trust me, I tried helping it, but no luck. That one is suffice to make me realize that the movie is intent on torturing two beautiful people and that was that. It's still as a stone and shallow to the bottoms that its very brisk run time felt like two forever's. C
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